There are so many articles, videos, and courses that address the problem of cellphones and tablets with kids. It is just like when I was young and MTV and video games were the evils to fight and blame. It is not my intention to attack or defend either side (this time), like sloppy parents who blame the stupidity of their children on influencers who are even stupider than them, or pseudo-hippies who used to have it all when they were young and now believe that restricting everything “artificial” (including sugar or meat) makes them better people raising better human beings.

I’m going to refer to the adults (I’m an adult too; I still don’t feel like one, but my financial obligations and my body say the opposite) who, when I was a kid and a teenager, criticized our obsession with any kind of technology. Back then, there were no chats or online games in your pocket beyond text messages and 32-bit screens (which were quite expensive in my social environment). Today, all those adults have different goals. Indeed, many achieved a lot of things and their priorities changed (and they earned it). But I don’t want to let something pass that I’ve started to see lately. And well… it’s my blog; here I light my not-so-light opinions.

Fig 07. She is also my pride and joy... Well, she's my wife, and she is the only one whose criticism I listen to.

The critic, but also the proud parent

I remember criticisms like “you’re stuck to that screen” (referring to a monochromatic Motorola C330 with 16 scales of gray and a couple of simple games) and “now your life is going to be reduced to that.” Well, I am a software developer! A mobile one, indeed, though we already know the burnout I have from that industry these days. But this ironic memory opens the door for the true critique. Parents who 30 years ago criticized a “waste of time” in a Messenger chat are today sharing dull chain messages asking for or sending blessings, psalms, and warnings about the end of the world if we don’t pray some sort of prayer (always ending with “forward to your loved ones”).

I don’t know about you, dear reader, but I remember my mom carrying exactly TWO photos in the transparent pocket of her wallet. Of course, if someone asked about it (whether it was the supermarket cashier, work friends, or family), those pictures were her pride and joy to talk about. But only if they ASKED. I don’t remember a single family lunch, meeting, or Christmas where a round of open wallets came up just to force everyone to look at the two or three pictures our parents carried with pride.

Then why?

If things used to be like that, then why, for the seven hells and seventy virgins, do adults who once valued the sacred nature of a unique physical photo now have to rub the latest video of their grandchild farting in the pool with their endless bragging in my face without asking? Or show me how “cute” the dog looks dancing at the latest birthday party? I DON’T CARE! If I don’t ask, I don’t want to see an album with 42 pictures of the baby’s first costume and the logistics of their family travel. Indeed, if I ask “how is the kid?”, it doesn’t mean “what does the kid look like in a professional photo studio setup that you threw together in your living room with dirty clothes in the background?”

Again, these are adults who have already earned the right to tranquility, watching their grandchildren grow without the pressure they used to have with their own children. But please, be coherent with your own teachings! You gave us the tools and criteria to carve out a path in life. If you expect those kids of the 90s (and their children too) to grow into good parents, husbands, workers, and leaders… you must keep setting the example and holding onto the values you showed us all those years ago.